We all know relationships sho’nuff go through ups and downs, but why would they not? Relationships consist of people who are flawed. That fact alone is a guarantee that there will be conflict of some sort. The relationships between couples are no different and can be even more complex. When you take an individual who is already flawed and add a plural to that equation, the challenge can become greater. People go into relationships with baggage and unresolved issues from various places; childhood, previous relationships, or insecurities. These are some of the contributing factors that make relationships challenging at times. I do not state this as a negative confession, but as my humble opinion.
Another reason I believe relationships can be challenging between couples is, too often we give others permission to be in our business. It is understandable that there will be times when a listening ear is needed, especially during those times when things aren’t so peachy in the relationship. It is so easy to do and I too have been guilty. However, we have to keep in mind that once we open our mouths and start divulging to outsiders the particulars of our relationship, we give them the authority to voice their opinions on the relationship. They might voice their opinion to us directly or behind our back to someone else. Sometimes they do both. Some give their opinions out of love and caring and that is cool. However, sometimes this can still be harmful to a relationship. No matter how we may feel about their opinion, we have to remember that their opinion is based off of what we told them. People are absolutely entitled to their opinions, but we have to be careful not to allow other’s opinions influence how we handle our relationships. Believe it or not, no matter how grown up and strong we might think we are, we can still be influenced.
Allow me to share three easy tips on how you can keep people out of your business and keep opinions of others to a minimum when it comes to your relationship.
Be Confident – Get out of the habit of asking other people what they think, or what they think you should do when something goes down between you and your mate. Have the confidence within to trust your own instincts and intuition. No matter what your friends’ opinions are, at the end of the day you are going to do what you want anyway. So why ask?
No Social Media Allowed -Quit allowing social media to be the third person in your relationship. Stop posting every move you and your mate make. Your followers do not need to know every little step you take. You do not need to prove to your followers that you and your mate are happy and can have a good time together. Nor do you need to vent to your followers every time your mate pisses you off. I can guarantee your social media friends are people who are just trying to maneuver through life the best they can just like you. They have sh*t they are trying to figure out in their lives as well. So, why seek their approval or validation?
Remember It Is Your Relationship – You are the only person who has to live with the decisions you make. Not your mother. Not your sister. Not your friends. Don’t let other people and their opinions be the reason your relationship did not last.